This blog in fact combines two of my other great passions (NOT chocolate and coffee – that’s a mocha); music and film. Last Friday night I went along for my first experience of the Magic Lantern Film Club in Bristol (further explained below). So blown away was I by the film that we saw, set to my all time favourite album, that I wanted to write about it.

BUT THEN… My good friend Adman got there first. And seeing as he writes about film, I thought it best to use his words! Who knows, one day when Adman gets bowled over (!!) by a cricketing experience, he will rely on me to pen his innermost thoughts on the experience. Maybe.

Adman and his trusty partner (in writing only) are launching: www.rustyshark.com, an awesome new film and game review site, going live in March. Bookmark it now, because once it’s available, you’ll be far too lost in the fascinating words of the Adman to remember. In the meantime you can catch snippets of his brain on twitter: @that_skinny_guy.

So here are his thoughts on what was one of the most entertaining and inspiring pieces of film making that I have seen in a very long time. Thanks Adman.

Girl Walk // All Day 

Unreleased (available online/check website for screenings)

Unrated,  73 mins approx..

Musical/Dance

Dir. Jacob Krupnick

Starring: Anne Marsen, Dai Omiya, John Doyle, New York City and its inhabitants

Definition: Hyperbole

Hy-per-bo-le [hahy-pur-buh-lee]

noun Rhetoric.

1. obvious and intentional exaggeration.

2. an extravagant statement or figure of speech not intended to be taken literally, as “to wait an eternity.”

It’s funny how some things happen.

I happened to be in the city of Bristol. I happened to be going to Magic Lantern, a secret-cinema-style night out, for which everyone meets at a pre-arranged location before being led to an undisclosed screening location, to watch a surprise film chosen by the organisers. I happened to have just eaten my first ever burrito (although that isn’t particularly relevant, it was just bloody delicious). I happened to have a bottle of fizz to consume during the screening (this is not only allowed at these events, but practically encouraged – it’s all about the funzies, see?). And after being guided to the disused floor of an office building and given a brief introduction by the host – and some humorous mishaps with starting up the projector – ‘Girl Walk // All Day’ happened.

And it happened to be one of, if not the, happiest film-watching experiences I’ve ever had.

It begins with a wonderful bait-and-switch that I admit, I totally fell for. All we’d been told about it beforehand was that it was a dance movie (with neon headbands given out to every audience member), and as the film began in lo-fi black and white in a ballerina studio, we watch our protagonist ‘The Girl’ (Anne Marsen) struggle to keep up with the routine of her classmates, and sense her growing frustration. At this point, I have to admit, I had an “Oh. Uh, OK…” moment, feeling a little disappointed after all the fun of the lead-up to be faced with what appeared to be a dour drama. I needn’t have worried. This lasted for around two minutes before the classical soundtrack suddenly burst into a crossbreed of Black Sabbath’s ‘War Pigs’ and vocals from Ludacris’ ‘Move Bitch (Get Out The Way)’, the palette exploded into colour, The Girl started throwing shapes like a woman possessed, and this film jumped feet first into my heart.

OK, so technically, it’s more music video than movie. Technically, it’s as much of a showcase for mash-up DJ Girl Talk as it is the actors or director. You know what? I don’t care. This is truly a pleasure unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced. We watch The Girl run out of the dance studio, and follow her as she literally dances her way across New York City in the span of a day, to the sounds of the one, long, continuous mix of the soundtrack. We watch as she encounters ‘The Gentleman’ (Dai Omiya) and ‘The Creep’ (John Doyle) and a host of other bizarre characters who all seem as obsessed with dancing as she does. And, importantly, we see the reactions of the unwitting rest of the cast – the people of New York. Shot on the fly with what I can only assume was a single camera in most instances, faces range from confused, to feigned ignorance, to smiles and laughter, and some people even join in as The Girl goes about her mission: to be happy and dance. That’s it. That’s the movie. There’s no further narrative than what I just described, and it’s absolutely wonderful for it.

The no-budget styling and inventive camera work by director Jacob Krupnick, and the charm of the aesthetics very much reminded me of the early work of Spike Jonze and is impossible to resist – daring even. Take for example a scene in which The Girl, sporting a Hepburn-esque make-over and carrying several high-profile department store shopping bags, wanders naively into the Occupy Wall Street protest to the dismay and disgust of the protesters. I was genuinely concerned at what might happen for a moment, particularly when the non-participatory campaigners are clearly booing her, throwing things even. In a film full of ballsy (and, frankly, delightfully shameless) things, I really admired not only the bravery and gameness of the actress, but the confidence of Krupnick that it would work. There are several moments like this – the scene in which The Girl runs amok at a packed baseball stadium during a game is kind of unbelievable – but it never feels like Jackass-style clowning around. It’s much, much too sweet for that, and it’s a credit to cast and crew that they managed to pull it off.

The three leads are all fantastic (and professional dancers, duh) but special credit obviously belongs to Anne Marsen who almost singularly carries the movie on her tiny shoulders. In what is probably the most adorable female lead performance I’ve seen since Amelie, the film would absolutely fail without her. Where she could be annoying, cloying or twee, she’s instead infectiously charming, and so the film is with her. It might not be technically ‘acting’ in the traditional sense, but damn it if you don’t absolutely fall for her. She’s utterly lovely.

Equally wonderful is the aforementioned score. 29 year old mash-up artist Girl Talk (Greg Gillis) has created something here which is downright remarkable in its own right, but when set against the visuals of the film it becomes so much more. Painstakingly crafted from literally hundreds of samples (I’m not kidding; full list here http://illegal-art.net/allday/samples.html), it’s a borderline work of art. There were moments where particular cues virtually had me laughing at either their audacity, or their ingenuity (including one moment featuring Peter Gabriel’s ‘In Your Eyes’ that I was so delighted at, it almost had me in tears), and by combining this sonic masterpiece with the non-stop joy of Krupnick’s vision, the result is something quite unlike you’ve ever seen before.

So stop what you’re doing. Go to www.girlwalkallday.com, and watch this marvellous experience for yourself. The whole thing is up there, in chapters. Alternatively, check the site and see if there’ll be a screening near you. Whatever you do, see it on the biggest screen you can, with as many people as possible. Then head on over to http://illegal-art.net/allday/ and get your hands on the soundtrack, absolutely free. Talk about it. Support it. The film as yet has no distribution, but deserves it entirely.

I am gaga for this film. No hyperbole. Completely head over heels. There’s not a moment of cynicism or snark in the entirety of its all-too-brief runtime, and when I was asked for a sound-bite on-camera when it finished, I said without a word of a lie, “My face hurts from smiling”. That’s all it wants to do. Make you smile.

There are three lines of dialogue in the entire film, all subtitled, when The Girl is dancing down a street behind two Hasidic Jewish men. The exchange is as follows.

“Why are you dancing?”

“I’m dancing because I am happy.”

…

“You should always be happy.”

It’s been four days since I saw this gem. And I absolutely still am.

10/10

Not all legends of cricket make their name on the pitch. Tony Cozier has been the voice of Caribbean cricket for more than half a century. Now, as he celebrates his 70^th birthday, he talks to Gemma Wright about his time in the game.

It is difficult to pick a favourite memory in cricket because there are so many. It’s been a long time. It’s 70 coming up and I have been doing it since I was 15. My first Test match I covered was in Barbados; Australia against the West Indies. When I was at school my father was the editor of a small daily paper in St Lucia, the Voice of St Lucia. I asked him if I could cover it for the paper. I got permission from the headmaster to go and cover the match and that was it. There have been so many memories, and so many ups and downs of West Indies cricket, and new, brilliant players coming in. Back then there was no 50 over cricket and no T20 cricket. It’s been a long time.

I don’t have a specific worst memory, but what has happened in West Indies cricket in the past ten years has been perhaps the worst. West Indies cricket has gone down for several reasons; the lack of leadership, the administration, the Players Association taking advantage of the weakness of the administration. We’ve had two strikes at international level, and  two strikes at first class level. I don’t know what they’ll achieve except to bring West Indies cricket further down. And I have no idea how West Indies cricket is going to get out of the hole which it has dug for itself. That is the whole disappointment; West Indies cricket has dug the hole for itself and it has reached where it is now.

I have never been asked to be involved in the leadership of West Indies cricket. I’ve worked in sports administration; I was the president of the Barbados Office Presidents Association for something like 7 years. But then because I was travelling so much I just couldn’t continue with that. But if I carried on with that I couldn’t be a West Indies cricket journalist. I’ve been close with West Indies administrators, chatted with them, and put forward a few suggestions. My columns have tended to be more and more critical of the administration and also the Players Association. I’ve been critical of everyone in West Indies cricket because they need to be criticised; they don’t seem to understand the damage that they have been doing to West Indies cricket. It’s a huge split between the players and the association and I don’t know how we can get over it.

I don’t know if there is hope for the future of West Indies cricket, unless the Players Association and the board come together. The acrimony has to be heard and seen to be believed.  That’s what’s happened with West Indies cricket; it is a house that is very badly divided against itself. In 98-99 the West Indies players first went on strike for a week at Heathrow Airport in London before they went to South Africa for their first historic tour. They didn’t like the terms and conditions. Sir Hilary Beckles, the principal of the University of the West Indies in Barbados and a member of the West Indies board, even that far back said that the players view the board as an enemy not its partner. If anything it’s got worse and you really can’t have players on the field representing the West Indies when they feel they are not properly represented by the board. And then vice versa when the board doesn’t feel the players are giving their best.

When I first came in to cricket writing, I was 14 and my father was in a position where he could help me. He was the editor of newspapers in the Caribbean; the voice St Lucia, Trinidad Guardian, Barbados Daily News, Barbados Advocate, so that was a help to me. He also wrote cricket, he covered the West Indies tour of England in 1950. In fact he was the only West Indian reporter covering that historic tour when the West Indies won for the first time in England. And he was well known in professional offices throughout the Caribbean so his son young Cozier coming up would always get a lot of support from the experienced and elderly journalists in the press box, so that was a great help. On the 1963 tour I had to pay my own way around England. I had a lot of school friends who went to university in England and I used to bunk in with them to cover that tour. Then I went to Australia 68-69 and the radio said they would pay for me, then when I came out they said they wouldn’t so I had to do that all out of my own pocket. But it was an investment I suppose to what happened in the future.

I’ve missed a few tours, not many, but a few. I’ve always been freelance so where I work and where I go depends on getting people to employ me. First of all newspapers, then radio, and eventually television. I first did radio in the West Indies in 1965 when Australia toured. I was one of the team of commentators who did that tour. 1966 was the first time I did BBC Test Match Special, when the West Indies where there, and I always supplemented it with newspaper coverage. There were occasions as well where I did all three, newspaper reports, radio, and television but that was physically more difficult to do with the passing years. Television was more lucrative than either of the others so now I am just doing television on a daily basis. As far as radio is concerned I do that very occasionally, and newspapers I just write a weekly column for West Indies papers and I do some occasional magazine work

I think that I will be phased out of television commentary. They are looking for younger commentators, and commentators who have played Test cricket. There are very few who do commentary now on TV internationally who have not played Test cricket. Harsha Bogle of India, myself here in the West Indies, Mark Nicholas in England.

My Father was my biggest influence. I got, and I still have it in fact, for my 8^th birthday, a Wisden inscribed ‘happy birthday Tony from Mum and Dad’. I have virtually all of them since then but that was the first one. That was what you did in Barbados, you played cricket during cricket season, you played football as well and then track and field came into it. But cricket was the main thing. I played cricket for the Lodge School in the first team. In those days the 3 main secondary schools in Barbados; Combermere School, Harrison College and the Lodge School, all played in a first grade competition so we would play on a regular basis against the top teams and immense players.

Alan McGilvray is certainly the one I learnt from as far as radio commentary is concerned. He was a great Australian commentator. I got a lot of tips from him, a lot of guidance on how to do commentary, how to deliver. People listen from all over the world, and not all of them use English as their first language, so don’t mumble and speak clearly and deliberately. A few techniques such as when the bowler was running in to bowl to the batsmen English commentators you will hear say he’s on his way and he bowls. He said ‘don’t say that because as soon as you’ve said that you are a second or two behind and the batsman has the ball with him so when he’s on his way just transfer your attention to the batsman and say Jones is on his way and Smith is back, forward, drives, pulls, whatever and you won’t be behind the play.’

Brian Johnston was an influence as far as commentary was concerned in the Test Match Special box. He made you feel completely at ease and that’s one thing I find in any job that if you are not comfortable you won’t do it as well as you should. Certainly Brian Johnston in the TMS box made you feel  completely at ease; made you feel very comfortable. I was aged 26 when I first went in the TMS box. I felt quite nervous and overwhelmed but he made you feel completely at ease and from the start I felt that I could say what I wanted.

Writers that I admire now would be Peter Roebuck who is exceptional to read. Ian Woolridge, who used to be a daily mail cricket correspondent, then he eventually became a general sports columnist. We got to know each other very well. He would come to the West Indies and I was considering starting a cricket annual, a West Indies cricket annual. He influenced me and he said go for it, and I did, and it ran from 1970 to 1991 when we lost sponsorship and it was very difficult to maintain it. Then after that I went into a cricket quarterly which went from 91 to 2001 so that also helped as far as I was concerned keep me in touch with what was happening in West Indies cricket; keeping me up to date. I followed everything from every territory at every level, first class, club, and so on, so I knew players coming through and it was really was an advantage to have that background when you were doing writing and doing commentary on radio and television.

I grew up with quite a few cricketers. Richard ‘Prof’ Edwards, who played for Barbados and the West Indies. I did a lot of radio work with him, he was a radio analyst as well. A lot of the others I travelled with, I was the West Indian journalist on tour. Wes Hall, Gary Sobers, we were very close as well. When we toured together we would go out together a lot. Clive Lloyd, all of them. I got very close with a lot of them. I think they felt that they could trust me and they knew that what I would write would be sincere and I wouldn’t be looking for any sensation.

I feel more at ease doing radio commentary than any other. Writing I find far more difficult. When I read people like Peter Roebuck and Michael Atherton sometimes I feel quite inadequate. It’s certainly more of a chore than doing radio commentary. I really enjoy radio commentary. I don’t know what it is but I suppose when you get a microphone in your hand it seems to trigger something, and description comes to you quite easily. And I’ve been in it for so long. Television commentary is a little bit different, I also enjoy that but I find radio commentary is the thing I feel more at ease and more confident with.

I’ve often been criticised for things that I’ve said or written. Especially for the West Indies. For example, towards the end of his career, I suggested that Gordon Greenidge should be in his last innings. There was a fella called Brian Lara who was coming through, perhaps space should be made for him. I got very heavily criticised, in fact a couple of people in the press box made their feelings known. So naturally you get that quite often; that’s part of the job and you can’t hold back. You’ve got to be true to yourself. More especially in recent times with the board and the Players Association against each other; you get criticised by the Players Association quite vehemently and quite often.

I think players behaviour has probably changed a lot in the time I have been in cricket. I would imagine it’s because of the money now in the game. Players feel one mistake by an umpire could change their career for instance, could almost wreck their career, and they get very sensitive. I suppose that’s understandable. They play a lot of cricket now, they play all over the world, but they do very well out of it. The majority of the players are extremely well paid. You look at T20 and IPL and so on, they can make a very good profession out of it. And they do. Television is very intense, the coverage, cameras all over the place, the papers, mainly the tabloids, which are always close to the players, and everybody has a mobile phone so they can take a photograph. When England were here in the west indies last year you had players who were going out at night to the nightclubs and the fans were there to take their photograph and sending it back to the tabloids to use them.

Gary Sobers is the best player I have seen in my life. He is so far above the rest that I don’t think you can compare him. There have been so many that you want to watch going back to the first of the three W’s who were around when I was at school, who were outstanding West Indian cricketers. We used to listen on the radio when we were at school and hear them playing in England and Australia and really setting the benchmark for West Indies cricket from that time. After that  you had some outstanding West Indians. But it’s not just West Indians, Australians as well, some English, too many really to pick out, all but Sobers. Sobers is absolutely number one, as far as batsmen you would like to watch. People like Roy Canning beautiful player to watch, Brian Lara, Viv Richards, master blaster, hit the ball like thunder, fantastic and exciting to watch. Shane Warne was mesmerising to watch in a different way to fast bowlers. They all bring pleasure to you. Once you see a great sportsman in any sport he is going to excite you. I’ve been lucky to have gone through so many generations of cricketers who excited me and I am sure there are others who are going to come along who do the same thing before I pass off!

There has never been an issue with me being white and reporting on West Indies cricket. I never feel that way. l may do so in other areas but as far as I am concerned I’m just West Indian. My family has been here for six generations, so I’m original West Indian and West Indian to the core. I was born in Barbados, my father lived and worked in Barbados, St Lucia, Trinidad, and St Kitts as well. So I always felt completely West Indian and I was always received by the players that way.

It was natural for my son Craig to get involved in cricket. In the same way my father influenced me I suppose I might have influenced him. You know he would’ve gone the same route, he didn’t go to the same school or college but he played cricket there. He was much, much better at Hockey, he played for Barbados. In fact I played hockey for Barbados but mainly because I got the selectors to choose me in goal. My wife also played and she was pretty good, but Craig was the best of the three of us by far and he was an outstanding player for Barbados. He’s taken to cricket and he really enjoys it. He too is treated with respect and people believe that he does a good job.

I was asked many times if they could put my name on the press box in Bridgetown and I said no. I didn’t want it. I found it was almost an embarrassment to have something named after you when I was alive. Wait til I go along and then do it. But they came back and they came back and I said the only way I’ll do it is if the Cozier that you have on the media centre is not only myself but my father as well. They said ok but we consider it to be you. I said well you put the Cozier there and I will know it’s for both father and son. I’m proud of it up there. I feel humbled by it, I’d rather it not be there and he deserves it as much as I do.

I don’t know how much longer I will carry on. I’ve dropped newspaper writing on a daily basis so I’m only doing television now . To be honest in the last year or two it’s become more physically tiring. You’ve got to realise that when you reach four score and ten you’re not going to get any stronger, you’re not going to get any more physically alert and there will come a time when you give it up. But then I look at people like Richie Benaud, who has been going for longer than I have and he’s still going. Brian Johnston died while he was in the job; he was 80 years of age so you know you never can tell.

Regrets? I have a few but too few to mention, in the words of Sinatra. I suppose one of the regrets would be not having the talent to be able to play. Perhaps I would have switched the job for playing for West Indies. I think it’ s every young boy’s dream. I just played ordinary club cricket. I suppose if I switched from what I do now I would’ve liked to have had the talent to play for the West Indies.

My wife is planning my 70^th birthday party. It’s going to be a 50s theme. I don’t know what that entails. I understand that Elvis Presley comes in somewhere, and others. But it’s going to be interesting to see how it turns out.

It’s difficult to say how I would like to be remembered. Just how I honestly and truthfully chronicled West Indies cricket to the best of my ability.

Whether you want to gas them or gas with them, the Barmy Army are a cricket phenomenon. Their recently released book  ‘Everywhere We Went’ charts their rise from a small group of like minded fans abroad to the current operation that has thousands of members, and offers tours, tickets and merchandise to the cricketing world.

The book should not be misinterpreted as a history of the group. The word history denotes ‘boring’, and that is certainly not a word associated with the Barmy Army. Instead, this is a book that answers the question on the lips of many non-cricket fans: why do thousands of cricket lovers travel the world, supporting their team through the highs and the lows, the wins and the losses?

The book is packed full of stories from members of the Barmy Army who have quite literally been there, done that, and bought the tour t-shirt. They chart the journey from the early days when the fans would regularly rub shoulders with the very men that they idolised, drinking and celebrating with the players after matches, to the most recent Ashes tour that paid dividends to the countless fans who’d waited 24 years to witness that series victory.

What Dirs manages to capture through his interviews with the founding members of the group, International players past and present, members of the media, and even the guy who printed their first ever tour t-shirts, is the essence of the Barmy Army – the enduring spirit of England fans, singing in the face of adversity.

The differing reactions of England players to the Barmy Army provides a fascinating read, in particular, the confession by Nasser Hussain that hearing “Michael Vaughan My Lord’ for the first time was the moment that he realised his captaincy was over. It gives an unprecedented insight into the effect that the Barmy Army have had on English cricket over the last 20 years.

If you have experienced the high of following your cricket team abroad it will transfer you back to those glorious memories. If you haven’t, it will have you rushing to the nearest computer to book your place on the next tour. And for anyone who thinks cricket is boring, I challenge them to read the first chapter of this book and not change their minds.

Everywhere We Went: Top Tales from Cricket’s Barmy Army by Ben Dirs is out now

Testing Times was formed by a small group of cricket fans on a Facebook page called Forward Point at the end of October 2011. Their creation was motivated by frustrations at the England schedule for summer 2012, and in particular that of the three Test matches scheduled between the top two ranked Test teams in the world; England and South Africa. This short series makes way for a five match ODI series against Australia, the third limited overs series between the two teams in as many years, home and away.

Following comments from England Test captain Andrew Strauss in the Times newspaper regarding his fears for the future of Test cricket, Testing Times was formed. Initially they created a Facebook page. They then harnessed the potency of twitter, setting up an account that they used to tweet anyone and everyone involved in cricket, requesting a retweet and signatures for an online petition.  Famous names to show support included James Anderson, Jonathan Agnew and Lalit Modi.

The twitter campaign has exceeded all the expectations of Rebecca Duffy from Testing Times:

“The Twitter response was awesome,” said Rebecca. “I set it up at 3pm and by 9.30pm we had over 700 followers! It’s an overwhelming success so far! I don’t think we thought anyone would listen to us at all but we’ve clearly captured the public feeling…we intend to see it through to whatever conclusion transpires.”

So encouraging was the initial support received that it spurred on Testing Times, and they began to form solid goals and objectives. Their short-term goal is to get 28,000 signatures on the petition (a number based on the capacity at Lord’s), and encourage the ECB to amend the schedule for next summer. Long term, they hope to convince the ICC to place a greater focus on Test cricket around the world.

Quite rightly they decided to build up some substance to their campaign before heading straight to the ICC. So they set their sights on the still daunting but more local target of the ECB, and in particular the issue that motivated their creation: the summer schedule 2012.

To demonstrate the thought that has gone into the campaign, the group put together a suggested revised schedule, incorporating a fourth Test against South Africa. The one off ODI against Scotland, strangely stranded in the middle of the South Africa Test series, has been moved to the end of the Test series, sensibly providing a warm up game for the ODI series. Reasonable, given that the teams for the two formats can be so different, and are led by different captains.

As the number one Test team in the world, England should be setting the example to the rest of the world in stressing the importance of the longer format of the game. After all, in England Test matches are well attended.

However, it is unlikely that the ECB will accept that they have made errors in the scheduling of next summer, let alone consider making any changes to it. Decisions have been made for financial reasons, and therefore suggested alterations motivated by a love of the game are likely to fall on deaf ears. Test matches do not always last for five days, and five ODI’s can be spread around to satisfy some of those counties who desperately need international fixtures to pay off the huge debts incurred in upgrading their facilities. A devotion to Test cricket doesn’t line the pockets of those set to benefit financially from the schedule.

England are playing one less Test match to accommodate the five match ODI series against Australia as part of a reciprocal deal with Cricket Australia – the return leg will be played in Australia in 2015 as preparation for the next World Cup. They are however, playing 15 Test matches in 2012, more than Australia (12) and South Africa (11).

With tickets already on sale for next summer, it’s far too late for changes to be made. However, the ECB cannot completely ignore such a valid and supported campaign, and continued support for the cause may lead to changes further down the line.

“We have to be realistic,” concedes Rebecca Duffy. “There’s a very real possibility that the ECB will take one look at our petition and laugh in our faces. Were certainly not kidding ourselves that 28,000 signatures on an e-petition alone is going to make the ECB perform a costly U-turn.

“But what it may do at the very least, is put it into the heads of the administrators that there is a very strong sense of anger from the cricket-loving public about how Tests are being handled, and about the international calendar which seems, increasingly, to revolve around the ODI circus.”

Testing Times, and the majority of their supporters, are not against limited-overs cricket, unless it is at the expense of Test cricket. Their view: that ODI’s and T20’s should be included as a part of a tour, not the centrepiece, and certainly not a tour in their own right, as with England’s recent trip to India.

As suggested by Testing Times, it is a sad thought that famous, thrilling Test matches from the history of the game that are still talked about with a passion by cricket fans (think Headingley 81, Edgbaston 05) might eventually become a thing of the past, in favour of the more commercially viable shorter formats of the game. To support testing times in their plight against such an occurrence, sign the petition at:

http://www.petitionbuzz.com/petitions/testingtimes

Follow @TestingTimesXI on twitter or‘Like’ their facebook page www.facebook.com/testingtimes

The trial of international cricketers is a rare occurrence, and this the first resulting in custodial sentences. Salman Butt, once captain of his country’s team, was found guilty of conspiracy to cheat and conspiracy to accept corrupt payments (along with Mohammed Asif), and condemned by the judge as being the “orchestrator of this activity”.

It was then revealed that Mohammed Amir, and agent Mazhar Majeed, had pleaded guilty to charges before the trial began. Just one hour before he was found guilty, Butt’s wife gave birth to a baby boy in Pakistan. The next day he left court in a prison van bound for Wandsworth. It’s a sad tale indeed.

Personally, I found the day the verdicts were delivered more heartbreaking and shocking than the sentencing, but none of it made for easy listening, reading or viewing.  The notion that this was just “the tip of the iceberg” is the hardest pill to swallow. If corruption is as widespread in the game as was suggested, then there is much, much, more to come in this bitter story.

The saddest consequence of all of this is surely that one of the things I love most about cricket, and I’m sure I’m not the only one, is those thrilling games that keep you on the edge of your seat, games like Edgbaston ’05, or Cardiff ’09. After the revelations in court this week, it will take a long time before I can witness a thrilling cricket match without a niggling doubt of suspicion somewhere in my mind.

Of course I obliged their inquisitive probings, and my comprehensive cricket knowledge, combined with my exceptional teaching skills, gave birth to a new expert on the sport. But don’t take my word for it. Here, for the first time in the history of the game, the beautiful Miss Jenn Lorant KSAC (knows stuff about cricket) has shared her wisdom with us mere mortals. Enjoy.

Cricket, by an American

Cricket is a sport kind of like baseball, but much more complicated and confusing and includes breaks for tea. There are three different types of cricket matches. Test games are 5 days, and there are also 50 overs and T20s, but I do not recall what those are (I think they are shorter versions of the game). In the game of cricket, there are several different definitions of the word ‘wicket’. ‘Wicket’ refers to the set of stumps in the game, the strip of field between these stumps, as well as the number of outs in an inning. The field is comprised of a circular area surrounding the wicket (infield), and then a larger circular area around that (outfield). The ball is bowled, and the batter tries to prevent the ball from hitting the wickets and bails and tries to score runs by running back and forth between the wickets. If the ball hits the batter’s leg before he can hit the ball, it is called lbw (leg before wicket). There are two umpires in the game. One stands behind the bowler, and the other is off to the side of the batter. England is the best country at cricket, and most Americans have never even heard of the game.

This concludes my knowledge of cricket

Since its launch in 2008, nearly 15,000 young people across London have participated in the project, playing a fast paced version of tape-ball, each innings lasting just 20 balls. Coaches and volunteers lead groups of youngsters in weekly sessions, with regular competitions against other groups in the project.

Local police officers also attend the sessions, giving young people the opportunity to get to know them without the uniform. Regular matches against police teams also encourage interaction between the two groups.

Not only does the project aid in breaking down the barriers between youngsters and the police, but also between kids from different backgrounds, schools and, importantly, postcodes. Gang rivalries between estates and suburbs are dissolved through the sport, and the participants get to know each other as equals rather than enemies, with 78% saying they have made friends with people they wouldn’t normally hang around with.

Some more amazing facts about StreetChance:

-       40% of participants are girls.

-       60% of StreetChance community participants say their coach has made them more aware of the negative effects of drugs and alcohol.

-       60% of StreetChance community participants say StreetChance has helped them avoid getting involved with local gangs.

-       75% of police officers involved say young people’s attitude towards them has changed outside of sessions since they became engaged with the project.

StreetChance undeniably do great work. Having met some of the participants, and read the stories of others, the project has made a real difference to the lives of many young people across London.

But perhaps the most important thing that projects like StreetChance do is to introduce the wonderful world of cricket to kids that wouldn’t normally have the opportunity to fall in love with the sport.

The debate over cricket being televised on Sky over free to air channels still bubbles on quietly. I have generally been in favour of Sky (not just because I have Sky Sports). The money it generates for the sport is irrefutably beneficial to the ‘grass roots’ of the game in this country.

But someone made me think about it in a new light recently. For those children that don’t have access to Sky Sports, no doubt many of the StreetChance participants, their opportunity to catch Ashes fever, or marvel at the tantalizing talent of their country’s star players, is significantly reduced. How many previously non-plussed English men and women suddenly became hooked on cricket during the exhilarating 2005 Ashes series, aired on Channel 4? It is experiences like those that inspire the younger generation to achieve cricket greatness. Thankfully, project’s like StreetChance are helping to ignite a passion for cricket in young people.  Surely that is the real grass roots of cricket?

In his one man show ‘Fibber in the Heat’, Jupp tells the story of how this most peculiar situation came about, his adventures along the way, and it’s reassuringly poignant conclusion.

No doubt embellished at times, his story is entertaining throughout. Jupp manages the all-important connection with the audience so essential to a stand up comic. His skill lies in superbly combining tales of adventures foreign to most of his audience with a self -deprecation that allows them to identify with his narrative. From drinks with Botham and Nasser, to opening his Delhi belly account with a fart so substantial that you could lean against it, his use of language, both verbal and physical, is both heart warming and hilarious.

I don’t doubt that every cricket fan in that room spent the interval secretly plotting their way onto the next England tour, but left the theatre secure in the knowledge that they are better off on the layman’s side of the press box door.

Jupp is currently on tour. For dates and tickets:

http://www.ents24.com/web/artist/24929/Miles_Jupp.html

1. When were you first approached to be involved in the film?

Early last year I got a call from these people doing this documentary on West Indies cricket, and asked would I like to be interviewed? I agreed straightaway, I had no problems with it. I was happy to hear that someone who was not West Indian would be doing a documentary about West Indies cricket, because if a West Indian did it they could easily be seen as biased. I did an interview in England first, then a very very long one in Jamaica. They interviewed so many other people, guys that were involved in the West Indies team in that era.

1. Did you have other involvement in the film other than being interviewed?

I did a bit of narrating as well, but just a few short bits. As for the actual production, and say on what should be in and be out, no nothing to do with that. The director and producers did all that.

1. Why do you think it took so long for somebody to make this film?

I think perhaps the people that are involved in this film are people who really love West Indian cricket and are disappointed to see the direction which it has gone; the low ebb that it’s reached. Perhaps they are trying to stir some emotions among the West Indian cricketers and the kids in the Caribbean. Sure it’s a commercial project but I think that’s part of it as well.

1. Do you think it can have an effect?

Yes definitely, I have seen it. A lot of youngsters in the Caribbean have lost the purpose of cricket and what it means to Caribbean people. Cricket is the only thing we do together as a Caribbean. Every island has its own team for football, netball, basketball, and athletics. The only thing we do together is play cricket. Some islands have never produced an international cricketer, but they still say “we” and “us” about the West Indies team. I don’t think a lot of cricketers in the Caribbean today appreciate what it means to so many people, especially people who are from the Caribbean but don’t live there. They want to be associated with greatness, with success, and be able to walk around and say; “yes I am from the West Indies, look how good our team is”. I think youngsters from the Caribbean need to understand that that is important.

5. Do you think it can have any effect on the players currently playing in the team?

I don’t think so, no. I think you have to start with youngsters. As I say, you can’t bend an old tree, you have to start with the saplings!

6. At the time that you were playing did you all feel that you were making history?

Speaking for myself, I can’t say that as a youngster playing for the West Indies I thought about the political impact we were having. I was out there enjoying myself, playing cricket, trying to do the best for myself and of course for the West Indies team. Later on in life, when I started to travel a bit more and I got to meet West Indians living away from the Caribbean. Then it came home to me exactly what it meant to those people.

7. Do you resent the idea that your team just had natural talent and didn’t need to work hard for success?

Anyone who said that needs to understand that hard training and hard work started with that West Indian team. We were the first team that worked as a unit, doing the sort of training and exercise that you see teams currently doing. It started when we were playing World Series cricket with Packer. He assigned a fella called Dennis Waight to the West Indies team. He was from a rugby background, and you got to be fit to play rugby. He went to Clive Lloyd and said; “skipper, for professional cricketers, professional sportsmen, I think you are crap! You’re not anywhere near as fit as you should be.” And Lloydy of course gave him permission to do whatever he thought was necessary. And that is where the training started. Kerry Packer saw us train, getting fit, beating the World Series Australian team, then demanded that they started training and doing what we were doing. We had always had individuals who would do their own stuff to be fit, but as a team, it was the West Indies who started doing all that training.

8. Your run up is regarded as one of the most beautiful sights in the game. Did you always have such a long run up, and did anyone ever try and change it?

No, no-one ever tried to change it. It was something that came naturally to me. I did it because it made me feel comfortable. It helped me with my bowling, it helped me with my rhythm in getting up to the crease. I was never a big strong guy, it just helped me to bowl fast without using too much upper body power. As I try to explain to some people, that’s why an airport has a long runway. A plane won’t just stand there and take off, it has to have that runway to build momentum and get up to speed to take off, unless they are a Harrier Jet! And the Harrier Jets burn too much fuel to take off from a standstill position. I was not big and strong, so the big run up helped me to bowl fast.

9. Who do you think would’ve come out on top if the West Indies top order had faced the West Indies pace attack?

Of course I am going to be biased and say the fast bowlers would come out on top! But we had some great batsmen. The West Indian bowling attack could never come up against the West Indian batting line up because we were all from different islands. Viv Richards and Andy Roberts from Antigua, they would play against each other, same with Laurence (Rowe) and myself from Jamaica. We would also have a lot of inter island rivalry, a domestic tournament, and we had a lot of top class batting against top class bowling, but never four against the batting line up. It was always evenly matched. Barbados had Joel Garner and Malcolm Marshall, (Wayne) Daniel, and Sylvester Clarke, Jamaica had Courtney Walsh, Patrick Patterson, and myself so that was always a match that people would turn up for because it was all fire! They had Greenidge and Haynes as batsmen, we had Laurence Rowe and Herbert Chang as some of our batsmen so that was always a highly fought intense game.

10. How did Clive Lloyd unite the team?

Clive Lloyd was older than us, so he was looked on as a father figure, and Clive Lloyd looked upon us as all his children. Clive, in my opinion, didn’t care where cricketers came from. It didn’t matter to him if you were from his home country Guyana, Barbados, Jamaica or Trinidad. He wanted the best team, and I think a people respected him for that. We’d had a lot of politics in cricket in the Caribbean in years gone by, people being selected because they were from a specific island. When Clive Lloyd became captain of the West Indies team he had a lot of power. He was successful so the selectors gave him leeway. He was quite happy to pick the best cricketers wherever they were from and because of that he got all the respect in the world. He respected the players that played under him and we respected him. And he never embarrassed anyone in anyway if they did good or bad, it was just a happy family with him as a leader.

11. Were there certain things that you liked to do before a game? (@gingerrob)

No not really. I was never a superstitious person that would want to do any sort of routine. All I wanted to do was to get myself warm, stretched, and ready to go out.

12. Has there been any revision in how your team is viewed now?

I think a few people might have changed their opinions. We got so much stick for bowling bouncers; people were saying that we weren’t playing in the true spirit of the game. But when England won the Ashes in 2005 with their four fast bowlers, Harmison bowling bouncers at Ricky Ponting at Lords, hitting him in his face, everybody in the stands cheered! So people recognise now that it’s part of the game. Perhaps they also recognise that what we did then, we were just early!

13. Who were the bravest players of your team’s fast bowling?

I played against a lot of great batsmen. The Chappes, Sunil Gavaskar, Zaheer Abbas, Javed Miandad, Majid Khan, Gooch and Gower, none of those guys took a backward step. I can’t say that any batsmen would say they enjoy facing four fast bowlers, but some just handle it better. They will go out and fight to the bitter end. Some batsmen, you know you have got them when they are walking out because they’re not going to be as brave as others. It wont be obvious to people in the stands that they‘re not enjoying it, but on the field you will be able to see it, so you have the psychological advantage already. But I played against a lot of batsmen that you knew when they were walking out that it was going to be a battle.

14. Is there a player that you were surprised didn’t make it big?

I can’t say that when it doesn’t happen that it comes as a surprise, because if you’re a sportsman you can detect certain things. You can see talent, but when you don’t see the strength of character that it takes to go along with it, you know they’re not going to go very far. For spectators it may be a surprise, because you aren’t seeing what we are seeing as sportsmen. There have been a few talented people around the world who haven’t got anywhere near as far as they should, because they haven’t got that strength of character.  I wouldn’t want to be calling names and embarrassing them!

15. Having played county cricket, did you feel that players in England didn’t have the same hunger to succeed as West Indians?

Definitely. Especially when I played in the 80’s. I came to England to play against county teams, then I played county cricket in the late 80’s. There were so many cricketers that were happy in county cricket because they were making a good living. They didn’t have to bust a gut to get to the highest level because the salary wasn’t that much more. They were comfortable, they were getting a sponsored car, being well paid, employed five or six months of the year. They could then go to South Africa or Australia for the other 6 months of the year and earn again. So they didn’t need to be playing Test cricket which was a lot harder, and more in the spotlight; people writing about them and criticising them. Things have changed a lot with retainer contracts, it’s a lot better now to be a player for England. It’s a lot more rewarding than playing county cricket so you’ll have more who strive to play for England. I think that has gone a long long way to getting a competitive England team.

16. How do you think the dominance of the West Indian team helped the battle against racism at the time?

A lot of people recognised that with the West Indian team doing well on the field, they could get as much prominence off the field; get the rights that they wanted and needed, especially in England. Then they could walk around with their heads held high, they could get as much respect in their jobs as the West Indian cricket team was getting on the field. I am very happy to know that that team and me being a part of that team made a difference to their lives and improved conditions for them, gave them the impetus to go out and fight for better.

It’s good to know at the end of the day that those things happened on the periphery, that those people benefited from what we were doing on the field.

17. Did you ever experience any racism?

Oh yeah, we got it a lot! My first tour here to England, ‘76, we received a lot of letters through the post, from big strong people who would pretend they were kids. You know kids aren’t going to be writing what they wrote: ‘go back to your trees in the Caribbean’, and that sort of thing. You read it and say to yourself ‘this person has a sick mind’. But at the same time you know it’s a minority and you forget it, you move on.

18. Did it motivate you?

Not really. What I will say really motivated the team in ‘76 is Tony Greig’s statement about him making the West Indians grovel! That motivated us a great deal. The letters didn’t put fire in your eyes because you know it is a minority. If I was living in the society maybe it would have had a greater impact but I knew at the end of the tour I was going home.

19. Can you see any parallels with the England team that won the Ashes this winter, focused game by game, and being a team?

Yes for sure. To be very successful you have to have a team spirit and a team focus. You have to be thinking about what we all can do, not just what each individual can do. Obviously each individual performance helps the team performance. But you can’t just focus on what I can do, you can’t say ‘I have a century I don’t care what else happens’. It has to be about the team. I don’t want to say it’s only Andy Flower, but since he has come into this team you see a lot more of that focus on what the team can do, how far can this team get. I think that certainly is showing on the cricket field, because these guys are playing some very good cricket. OK, they didn’t do that well in the World Cup, but England haven’t done well in one day cricket for a long time. I don’t think they have worked out what team they want, who should bat where, or what each person’s job is. But the Test team, they are doing well.

20. When did you last have a bowl?

Woah! About eight years ago in a charity game, and I don’t think I will have another bowl on a cricket field. I’ve had enough of that.

21. Can you see the West Indies challenging top nations in Test cricket again with Kemar Roach, Fidel Edwards and Jerome Taylor in the line up? (Honhaar Goonda)

We have some talented cricketers in the team right now but I don’t think we’ll really get back to the top until we get more organised in the Caribbean. As you can see from the names that you mentioned, there is talent. Young Daren Bravo has come in to the team as a batsmen, he certainly has shown that he can be a good player. So there is talent still in the Caribbean, but I don’t think there are enough kids playing cricket at the moment for the cream to rise to the top. There is a lot of mediocrity getting to the top. Until we can encourage kids to play the game and we can make a pool with which to draw from I don’t think we’ll get back to the heights that we should.

22. So you think that’s the way to fix West Indian cricket?

Definitely. You have got to have a lot of kids playing the game. There is nowhere near the number of kids playing the game that we had 40/50 years ago.

23.  What do you think Australia can learn from the way the West Indies have struggled since their dominant era?

I don’t think they will be in the doldrums as long as us. I think Australia have a better infrastructure, they have their academy, they are much more organised in the respective states, and I think they have a big pool still to draw from.

24. You worked in a bank before becoming a professional cricketer, did you learn anything in that job that helped you in your career?

Nothing to do with that helped me with cricket! I was in the computer centre with Barclays, who were in Jamaica at the time. I have always been a man who loved figures; when I went to university I did computer science. I didn’t last very long in the bank. The manager called me in at the end of a tour when I played for Jamaica and said to me that I had to make a choice between cricket and working in the bank, and it wasn’t working in the bank! I was still a young man, I had no responsibilities, I was living with my parents so the job wasn’t that important.

25. At what point did you start to think that the Stanford project wasn’t going to work out?

When I got on his board and attended a few meetings. I got to understand how he worked and operated and I knew it wasn’t going to work. I knew exactly why he was involved and I didn’t want to be a part of it. I didn’t last very long on the board!

26. Did that have anything to do with your dislike of T20?

No, not at all. Before I got on the Stanford board I told him that I wasn’t interested in being involved in the T20 because I didn’t think it would help West Indian Test Cricket. I only got involved with Stanford when he started to spend a lot of money helping with the infrastructure in the respective islands. He gave 19 islands in the Caribbean a quarter of a million US dollars to help them with their coaching and their training, to get infrastructure, bowling machines etc. I figured that could help West Indies cricket. But when I got on the board and started attending meetings, I got to know the man better. I saw where he was coming from and I thought this man isn’t really interested in West Indies cricket, he has got other motives. I didn’t want to be involved with him and his other motives so I left.

27. Have you ever commentated on t20?

Never, I haven’t even watched one. It’s not because of the form of the game, it’s because I think it’s destroying Test cricket by the amount of money associated with it. People are leaving Test cricket early to play T20, and I think it’s damaging Test cricket.

There have been many defining moments in this series, but the most important was Cook’s second innings in Brisbane. Consensus before the series was that if England can leave Brisbane unbeaten, then they could go on and win the series.  A 1-0 lead for Australia would have put England on the back foot, Australia is a tough environment, on and off the pitch, to come back into a series.

Brisbane (match drawn Day 5)

By day three of the series, it looked like same old England, same old Australia.  Captain Andrew Strauss had been dismissed with the third ball of the Test, and England were bowled out for 260, Siddle taking 6-54, including a hat-trick. In reply, Mike Hussey and Brad Haddin had a record breaking partnership of 307, in a total of 481. But then Alistair Cook set his stall out in what was to be a record-breaking innings, and an indication of what was to come.

With an unbeaten 235 in the second innings, Cook took accolades from the greats of the game, including the highest Test score at the Gabba since Sir Don Bradman’s 226 v South Africa in 1931.

Supported by Trott, Cook helped England to a phenomenal 517-1, the first time that England have passed 500 in Ashes Test cricket for the loss of only one wicket.

The opening partnership of 188 between Strauss and Cook was the highest by a visiting team at the Gabba, and the most productive opening partnership in England’s Test history.

Cook and Trott’s partnership of 319 (both unbeaten) was the highest for any wicket in Brisbane, beating the 307 posted by Hussey and Haddin two days before, and the highest partnership for any English wicket in Australia.

Cook spent an incredible 28 hours on the pitch over five days, only off the pitch for the end of England’s first innings on day one.

Given their three innings plus victories since, this Test match might be the least memorable of the series, but without that innings from Alistair Cook, the whole series could have taken a different path. It was the seminal moment in this series.

Adelaide (England win by an innings and 71 runs)

Who can forget Anderson’s first two overs in Adelaide that reduced Australia to 2-3? Katich (0), Ponting (0) and Clarke (2) were the men to go. It all began with Watson running out senior opener Katich for a diamond duck, having not faced a ball. The direct hit from Trott at mid-wicket was exceptional.

With a start like that, the second worst in Australian Test cricket, the home team had very little hope of getting back into the game. Strauss has spoken recently of his plan to strangle the Australian batsmen with consistent bowling, and it was evident in Adelaide.

After dismissing Australia for 245, Pietersen had the type of knock that keeps him in the side during his lean periods. His 227, combined with another Cook century, took the game away from Australia, and laid to rest the ghosts of Adelaide 06 for England.

Perth (Australia win by 267 runs on Day 4)

Mitchell Johnson was the difference between the teams in England’s only defeat of the series. Johnson himself has confessed to the unacceptable discrepancy between his good and bad performances, but the Johnson that showed up to the WACA threatened to end England’s hopes of retaining the Ashes.

His knock of 62 revived Australia from 189-7 to 268 all out and gave him confidence to destroy England with the ball. His 6 for 38, combined with a sudden penchant for sledging with Pietersen, took the game away from England, and levelled the series. More importantly, it gave Australia hope, and showed that England were not invincible.

Melbourne (England win by an innings and 157 runs on Day 4)

With the series level, one comprehensive victory each, it was back to square one for both the teams. Not for long though. Following the brave decision by Strauss to bowl first, Anderson and Tremlett took four wickets apiece to dismiss Australia for just 98 half way through day one. Strauss and Cook then took England to 157-0. It was only the second time in Test history that one team bowled out another, and then took a 10 wicket lead on day one of a Test.

But it was perhaps Bresnan’s spell in the second innings that defined this Test. Having come into the side for Finn, who was rested after expensive figures in Perth, his superb display of control and pressure building resulted in four wickets for 50, and secured the urn for England.

Sydney (England win by an innings and 83 runs on Day 5, sealing the series 3-1)

In an almost exact replica of the Perth Test, Australia batted first and collapsed to 189-8. Once again, it was left to Mitchell Johnson to get the runs. It didn’t bode well for England, as records, and recent memory, suggests that Johnson fires with the ball when he makes some runs.

However, Andrew Strauss came out and scored a determined 60, getting his team off to a speedy start. It set the tone for the innings. Cook scored his second Daddy hundred of the series, becoming the second most productive English batsman in an Ashes series, and passing 1,000 first class runs on this tour.

Bell and Prior went on to score maiden centuries against Australia, and England posted their highest ever total at the SCG.

It was only a matter of time before England took the ten wickets needed for series victory. Anderson took three of them, finishing with the top wicket tally of the series; 24. Although Cook was thoroughly deserving of his Man of the Series award, Anderson was undoubtedly a close second. He was consistently the best bowler for England, and his lack of ‘Michelle’s’ in this series does not do justice to the performance of England’s senior bowler.

Ian Bell too deserves mention when talking off the top performers in this series. It is perhaps only his position down the order at number six that prevented him from scoring more runs than he did. Cook’s records could so easily have been his. It is pleasing for the English, and galling for Australians, that the three top players for England were three of the worst performers last time England toured down under, and were cast aside before this series by the Australians.

The new England team ethic is just that: team, not individual. They will not sit back on their laurels after what is probably the greatest achievement of their careers. They will look to the future, and their ambition to be world number one. And they have never been better placed to achieve it.